Shadow of Doubt

Here comes the rising moon, I feel the cold breeze under my skin. The man is as cold as the icy waters of the north and I is fire. The man was looking directly into my eyes, was he looking or staring right into the very heart of my soul? The arctic knife stabbed  my heart as I look back into the man’s eyes. The man vanishes in a blink of an eye and suddenly I felt this wariness that he is running away from me. I see a flaming blaze from afar; I walk into the thick white, pay no heed to the chill of wintry night. I did not know how far I walked but it seemed I cannot get closer to the flaming red and blue. I close my eyes and everything felt so calm.

The gentle midnight wind; and the moon floated like feather illuminates the darkness that covers me. The man holds my hand, I feel the warmth of the rushing falls in his veins and the intense beat of his frozen heart. The moment I felt the depth of the man’s passion everything around me stood still as if I am the only living creature alive. The man fades away and the moon lingered as my only companion. I see no stars probably overcasted by the moon’s brilliance. The rare chance of the full moon’s visibility on a winter night fascinates me. But where is the man?

The shadow followed me; nothing seems to unravel the man’s mysterious reflection. I find my way in but only to discover the darkness is just the beginning. I am like in a wild following the trail of a lost man. The spear of faith hits me; and the moon is hiding in a blanket of gray. I see a man drifted as a snowflake in the winter night.

Silence breaks me as I read his wordless lips and empty spirit. The baffling thoughts trapped in him; the moon hangs on a tranquil ocean. I feel numbed; I was standing nowhere and going nowhere. Once more I close my eyes in hopes that everything is just dreamlike. I hear a man’s voice “run free my child run free; run wild and find your way” the voice said. Afraid to open my eyes but somehow hearing the voice gave me a sudden relief.

I am still looking for the man not the voice that I heard but the nomad out in the cold. Was it the same man? I can not tell for sure. I continue to walk looking for the man. I reached the woods, but the man is nowhere to be found. The moon sits from above follows me wherever I go. I felt safe by the moon’s glow, and I know I am not alone. As the moon hangs patiently I am anxious not to see the man anymore. I desperately need to find him – I just need to find him.

The feeling of restlessness is unexplainable; the surreal pain is beyond words. Funny the moon is just watching every move I make; but never get tired of following me. My fate hangs on a balance, my thoughts of the man is fading and slowly the emotion falls apart. I look at the sky and saw a halo dancing like a ballerina in the playful heavens of the night. I gaze at the moon yearning to find the man as a child wishing on a shooting star.

How far can I stand looking for the drifter? As I carry on, the stillness of the night frightens me. I hear nothing, not even the whistle of the wind or clinging of leaves. I move into the woods and all I see are shadows of tall trees. The snow covered the tracks of my footsteps. I wanted to go back to where I have been; maybe the man is there, but instinct tells me to walk on and I remember the voice. The moon will not disappoint me, I said to myself – just hold on a bit longer.

The sudden swift of air came behind me, I stand still widen my senses if I am not alone. I follow where the air is headed. I traveled so far for this strange man and as I go along I knew I am getting closer to him. I find my way out of the woods; I feel the chills on my bones and I felt his presence. The mood is foggy, I can hear my heavy breath as if I can not breathe. The moon disappeared, I feel helpless; so weak to move a step closer to where I am going. I told myself maybe this is the end; the end of everything.

I saw a shadow of a man not far from where I stand, and it is with fortitude that I decided to come near him. I want to ask him, what is he afraid of? Why is he running away? I extended my hand for him to grab but he just stood there. The man’s weakness is my strength, and as I get closer I see an angel-like face full of sadness. For the last time I look into his eyes, I see a man with a good heart with an infinite devotion that slips away. The man holds my face and whispers “close your eyes my dear all will be back the way it were, for you are my fortress and I am your savior”.

Short story

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